It’s been said so many times that the only way to escape pain is by staying away from the person causing it. But even if you swear it to yourself 678 times, it’s never going to be easy. But you can – oh yes we can! And I’m sharing with you some of the lessons I picked up from over a year of attempting to avoid someone. No proven results yet, but hey, there’s no harm in trying.
Do not look at him straight in the eye.
I know when it comes to the one we endear, we tend to have bionic eyes – eyes that see beyond the limits of the human eye. Nah. You just get too conscious when he’s around. You imagine him looking at you when in reality he is not. So what to do? You just pretend you don’t see him. But if he approaches you, stay still and look the hundred more directions but his eyes— you know they’re the kind that makes you feel lost when looked into. Don’t fall into the trap.
Never initiate a conversation.
Never say “Hi” first. Never be the first to ask if he has eaten already. Never ask where he is. I’m sure you know how it sucks not to receive a hello and how even hellish it feels to know he’s eating without you knowing… (and worst) with someone else. Ergo our motto: “No to self-inflicted pain” — don’t you dare attract it.
Never reply to his messages.
If you succeeded in fighting the urge to text him first, then remaining silent when he opens up a topic should never be a problem. There is no sense in talking to him anyway. What he’s going to tell you runs in this format (only): salutation (usually hi or psst) > questions on how you are doing > “I am great” > “I am hot” > Good night. Nonsense, so why bother?
Throw him away.
When it is beyond your power to literally throw him away from your life, the ability to remove his memories is always feasible. Put in trash that tiny cake box he gave you one Monday morning more than a year ago. Throw that little stone he placed on your table when he was just trying to be cute. Delete all the messages and photos he sent (oh I didn’t say that!). You know there’s a lot more you can do to forget (and avoid) him. It takes a while to accomplish, but having nothing to hold on to makes you realize that yes, there is really nothing to hold on to.
Tell him everything.
Go ahead and initiate a conversation only if you’ve finally decided to admit your feelings for him. Tell him you like him. Let him know how difficult it is to wait. You can get a reply, but you can be left hanging as well. You decide what’s next to do when he answers. If he tells you he can’t offer more than the friendship you have, then what’s the use of staying? Let go and move on.
Nobody wants to stay away but there will come a time when you have to. It’s never easy, but it’s never impossible.
ANNE MONDRAGON 